Life is Death

I got this cute web thru Loon de.. Haha..

Well, that time I was so angry with this client. Then, suddenly loon MSN me, and he gave me this web. Ok..I click lor. Then many many CHRISTMAS TREE NER!! So cute.. And each tree you can write a msg and send to them them.

But I received 2 msg..donno from who..VV and jmy. Haha..

Anyway, Have fun and view it at:-

http://www.mtvasia.com/Funstuff/Xmas/xmas.php

My name is Xter, Loon is jadeButterfly.. I cant find his name.. He hide his Xmas tree joh. Dont wan let me see.. :’(

Here’s my Name!! Njoy!!

Today, I dreamt about knowing this guy. He is quite plump. In the dream, I dont think I’ve met him b4. I dont have memories on this guy. But the point is..

I AM MARRYING WITH THIS GUY (Who he is??)

Well, I dont know what lead me to this dream. I just remember that he is nice to me. My character in my dream is totally 80% different of what I am. I mean, my attitude. It’s like, I turn to be soft, not rude. Funny huh?

Anyway, before the wedding, we have a dinner celebration. Held in.. Errr.. I recognize that place. But I dont know where it is. I mean, in my real life, I recognize that I’ve been there before. Those roads. One old fashion restaurant >> mostly I recognize this. But I dont even remember or have any idea of "this" restaurant that I’m having dinner with. It’s big. Glory. Although abit like chinese old style. Those red red color de lea.

Well after the meal, we went home seperate ways.

Before I continue on, I met this guy at my dreams. And eventually got to be frenz wif him. And suddenly he ask me to married him, and I nodded. Yes. I dont even know why I say YES! I hardly know him at all. But still I say yes.

Ok, back to my dreams..

I cant sleep that night. Tik-Tok, Tik-Tok, I hear the tikking at my clock. So Irritating. Makes me hard to sleep even more. Then I sat up. No wonder why I cant sleep. Izzit because tomoro is my wedding day? That makes me nervous?

NO!!

I sat up cause I havent tried on my wedding dress. OMG! (My god, I was hell worried because of a wedding dress????? - This is what I ask myself when I woke up from my dreams). I was tention. Dont even know where to find a bridal store for me to try on. It’s already 2am! Where got people open 24 hours wan??

Still so worried. Went to my mum’s room. Wake her up. Tell her to help me out. And she told me she was sleppy. UH! Then she told me that I can still have time to try it on my wedding day. Cause it’s not too late oso.

WHAT??

My wedding day is tomolo! Where got so much time?? How I know which is which that will suit me perfectly? I cant sleep. Wanted to call someone, but then I noticed I was like in somekind like kampung place. Where to seek for help har? Somemore so late oredi.

So, I walk to my going-to-be husband house. He was not surprise to see me. But I was surprise, why in the middle of the night, he still not yet sleep har? But, I got no time to think so much of why why whys! I told him I’m facing trouble.

Then, he took me to a bridal shop. Sneak inside. Tip-toe. Slowly, slowly, BLING! I saw so many beautiful white gowns. My heart ..

By then, I was disturbed by baby’s noise. So awake liaw.

Wondering why I dreamt bout this kind of things. I neva wanted to get married so early. If I want, I oredi got married in the first place. *giggle* LOL.

Earlier november, I’m a member of this forum. And those people are great. But I can see them that they are still very young. Probably around 15-19/20yrs old. I mean most of them. I share alot of stuff with them like opening threads as Reptile-Iguana, Relationships, Advertising Awards, Experience, (this is the most funny part - everyone is talking about toothbrush. I should name it as Toothbrush Experience.), Tattooing. But I take part in threads like Smoking, Hairgel (Japanese Hair style, Short and Spiky, Mohawk) , Dancing ( I talk about Hip Hop and Break dance) and many more.

Just today, After I read the blog from Loveris..I open a thread called :-

What will u do if u get pregnant?

I was reading this blog, and suddenly i feel like asking opinion from u gurls.

Would you abort the innocent baby or you will born it lea?

Because of their young age, so I wanna find out what will they think about it. Most of the gurls will be going for abortion. They know it hurts. But it’s pointless to raise the baby with difficulties and with finnancial probs. One of the member wrote: -

I will still deliver birth to the baby, cuz whatever reason u use for abortion, it’s still a murder act.

If you dont have anough money to raise the kid, you can ask help from friends,family or whoever cares about the baby. I’m sure atleast someone will care about it, after all we human still need to depends on each other.

I’ve just checked this website a few weeks ago. But didnt really notice anything about it. So, I decided to open it up again and try it. I fill up my particulars, and click “check your death clock”. Meaning the end of my life.

That’s it. I got 56yrs to go on. U believe? Nah.. Actually I just try for fun. Haha. Who would believe this kind of things? If your time is up, then its up. U cant do anything joh d ma. Not even fight back.

Here, I’m reading another new blog beside xiaxue. She is going to be motherhood soon, although her age is very young. She can thinks. What is good for her. What is not.

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“My advise is… think about the 2 lifes carefully, yours and the baby’s”

First, lets talk about you:

I know abortion is cruel, we are humans afterall, we have feelings too.. and its your flesh and blood we are talking about. But, before you foolishly think you are brave enough for whatever awaits… Ask yourself, are you REALLY ready to embrace motherhood? You can no longer clubs, shops on weekends, you might need to stop your studies for a 1 to 2 years and most importantly, do you have the financial and mental support? How will your family react? Do they have high hopes on you?

Things dun seem as easy as it is, I am glad my parents and my ex’s parents understand and they help me in all sorts of way in my pregnancies (tonic soups) to child birth (childcare). It is not just you and your baby, it involves your family too.

Do you have a job? Monthly pre-natal consultation fees, compulsory health supplements (folic acid, calcium and iron supplements), urine-test (glucose level) is at least $60-100 and sometimes you would need to go for ultrasound scans and blood tests which will cost you more… Delivery and hospitalisation and aftercare like confinement (food and tonics) you need to prepare about $2000-3000 at least (you need to take care of your body, you cant take care of your baby if you are not strong).

I delivered my girl via c-section (caesarean) as i have complications which doesnt allow natural delivery.. (at KK hospital) and it cost me around $4000. I do not have enough Medisave at that time and i am too stubborn to ask my dad for money… its hell.

Think about these problems as its still not too late, you can still make a choice.

Now the baby:

Will the baby be happy to grow up in a single-parent family? He or she will be if you make that possible.. so will you try your best? Can you ensure you are mature enough to love your baby? I know people who got pregnant in their teens and they dont love their child at all.. really! (resentment i guess) They just leave their child with the babysitter or their mums and they only visit the child once a month when its time to give the care-taker money.

Promise me, if you decide to keep the baby, please do not do that to the child, it very cruel.. much more cruel.

Are you brave enough to go through all the crude words and discriminating stares with your child when he or she grows up day by day? Will you have enough love for him or her? Will you be a good mother to him or her? Have you got the answers to “Why i dont have a daddy” questions ready?

Please go through these thoughts seriously. Abortion is not a crime.. It is indeed cruel but i never think it is wrong. I am an advocate for contraception… i hope you learnt enough about contraception understand the importance of it..

I was once a teenager myself, i know what is temptation and how guys will push for unprotected sex. Unprotected sex puts you in great harm.. (think about your worries today…) The baby is not in him, so its easy for him to bring up abortions as solution. But you are really the one suffering, no matter what the end results is (to have or not to have the child, both ways).

If saying no to unprotected sex is hard for you, i would suggest seeking a doctor for contraception pills. Be a wise girl yourself, do something. Pills is very cheap and affordable, $1.50-$15.00 per tab (The cheapest and the most expensive i had) which can last you for a month. However, you need strong discipline to keep to pills. Ask your doctor for advices on other methods.

Love yourself well, okay?

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That’s what she wrote.. So meaningful (for me la..for u, i dont know). I mean what she say oso make sense lor. But I dont feel right if the gurl eat pills. Cuz it will more destroy their health.

But this gurl, met his dream guy at age 15. Age 16, she got pregnant. She reli fought for her life. Goodness sake. And her ex husband. Haiz.. he’s a Rubbish. But cant blame everything on her for choosing him. Cuz love is blind. Somemore, she was too young. Although she can really think about having this baby. Goin on those 8-9mths of pains. She still goin on strong. Envy on her. But I’m glad she has met her new husband now.

If for me, I already fall down..deep deep down…

Nway, tomolo saturday..Yahoo.. will goin to meet up Devi and Fui Sun. To hear things about Herba Life. I wanna gain weight. I’m toooo thin.. Ugly.. Haha.. Fedup aksing people around like ” Look! She thin or I thin??”.. Cuz too skinny very geli.. If it’s ok..I will buy it and glup glup glup.. Tell u how it feels ltr, see whether is effective on me or not

I thaught of treating my mum to eat steaks. D’fortune or probably Block House. Both also at menjalara. But my dad have another thoughts about that. He said, why not eat crab?

OKIEZ.

I wore contact lens today. Dress up nicely. Waiting my mum to come back home.

Then, dad drove us to Sg. Kayu Ara. The name of the restorant is Pantai Seafood Restaurant. It was quite big. Loaded with people. So, we decided to sit upstairs, infact just 3 of us. Downstairs mainly for big and huge families.

Then, we go and look at the crab. It’s call Alaska Crab. What’s that?

Gosh.. That’s expensive. But it’s once a lifetime. So why not try it. Somemore it’s mummy Big Day! Then, beside this crab, we order some side dishes

So, here come our FIRST dish. It’s the …

And the shell, it’s not that hard. Infact, we are using scisoors to cut it open. The flesh is soooo yummy. Not that hard. Soft soft. This is my FIRST time, eating so expensive crab. Never in my life man. And this crab is the expensive ones. Another crab is Snow Crab. The colour is definately white man. It cost above RM100 per kg as well.

This Crab dishes, It’s the same big crab. Weight 1.5kg. And he help us to make two kind of dishes. I kept eating those crabs. And ignore those side dishes 1st. After eating all up, my plate look kinda this.

DEFINATELY FINISH already. I cut my crab nicely ok. I cut it politely and pretty soft. I cant even imagine I was eating like that. So lady like. Muahahah..Just kidding ok. And then, i start to eat side dishes. So full man.

Went to the counter. Guess how much we ate? RM396.79. The crab is the most expensive ones. 1.5kg equal to RM312.00. I pay up the bill. Mum was so happy, so do Dad. Happy because eating this wonderful dinner.

Going back home. Was so worried for Baby. Cause I havent adjust the timer for the heat yet. So miss him when get back to him. So decided to take pictures with him.

Soon arrived Cheras LRT. Called my God daddy out. While waiting, I gobble up my bread. Sitting at one of the unwanted chairs. Cause I’ve be tiring whole day, rushing to go Cheras.

Daddy reach liaw. He bought me Kikapo.. He scared I got nothing to drink at home. Reach liaw. Saw god Mother there, Lying at the chair. And 2nd thing, I saw my BABY SISTA!!

I was so happy. Definately out of JOY.

My sista cute not?? I tell u la, She got very chubby and reddish cheecks lea.

That’s it. I took those pictures. Was really happy. Even typing this blog, I was delighted with my little sister. I even pamper her. Telling her go to sleep. Stop crying and bla bla. Making warm water for her baby bottle. Many many things.

Wishing can see her again. Ahh.. she weight 3.55kg. And was born around 2am.

++ CHEERS++