Life is Death

Everybody’s screaming, Everybody have so much fun on dat day. I’m having fun oso for the couple of hours. Ltr, wait nicole  2 arrive. Line been down. Even 012. Try sms’in. But been pending all d way thru. I wait at one corner, while ask john go play wif fung. Ltr, Nicole came. Hapi 2 see em arrive. Bek 2 d spot. Wait 4 john 2 b bek. But he aint there. So i wait n wait n wait n wait. N soon, i walk off n go find justin. Fireworks soon went up d air. Everyone so hapi. But aint me. I lost someone. Aint beside me 2 accompany me c fireworks. Watch wif a group of frenz instead. He aint call me. He aint even sms me. I’m fedup of my life. How could this happen to me? I’ve made my mistakes. Got nowhere to run  as the night goes on. As I’m fading away, I’m sick of this life. I just wanna scream. How could this happen to me?? I’m trying to hold everything. I am not finding fault to say to him. I just want him to understand. Understand everything. He leaving to work to kuantan on thurs. Bek next sat. Even wed is his holiday, he forgot our date, which he supposed pick me up roun 11-12 n book tic 4 charlie. Mayb after dat nite, he went to cafe. Drink high class coffee. I dunno. Told him edi. If i din meet him by 11-12, he no need cum joh. So, since he 4got everything. I hv no chance to meet him. I dunno wat i have done wrong all this thru. I’m trying not to eat xpenisve wen out. Din use his money to buy my stuff oso. Always tell him safe money. Rather use motor den car as motor oil is cheaper. Is this oso wrong dat i help him safe money? Can anyone tell me what i supposed to do? N lately, he told me his fren_girl like 2 go 2 cafe n drink high coffee which can be up 2 rm20-50 (mayb). Here i help him safe money. N there he go spend his money on oths. I have my own sins. I’m enuff of it. I cant bear anymore. He neva learn his leasson. He will always think dat i’m always say is his fault. But did he realise wat he has done 2 me all this while? I’m sick of my life in malaysia. I cant r’ber how n why i should forgive him at the very very 1st place..it’s all my mistakes.

yest john cum fetch me out eat eat dinner..WAH.. got pasar malam ne. Den saw dumpling. Yum yum.. Wan snatch d dumpling den eat behind d lorong. hehe. Den go ss2 eat eat 1st. Den go to 1utama. Cuz i wanna buy baskin robbin 4 my parents. Den v eat mid cup 2gether. yum yum. cuz got 31 diskaun ya. den go be hm 1st. Put in freezer. Den go out Again. This time go to putrajaya. I neva go there in night scene ne. But den, saw d notice, got fireworks goin 2 held 2day. so nice. How i wish yest is today. Den can see fireworks. ahhhh.. den v go here go there.. putrajaya road so big ne.. so cool…. like goin up to genting. very very nice ne..so happi…. den zzz lor..

wah lau. yest nite i went to saloon lor. den go saloon, sure trim hair ge ma. 1st leh, they wash 1st d. wash liaw.. baru they way wan cut wat style? I mai say haf head lor. U knoe? She bodoh bodoh, den dunno. I xplain many times edi, but she still a potato. Ok la. Den i mai tunjuk how I wan to look at my hair lor. I mai step by step, like a teacher teach student ge lor. Den she gip me sumething else. She said.. Not nice wan! Dat style long edi d. Really not nice ge. Cuz i say i still wan to remain my tail ma. Ok lor. She say not nice, i mai asked her lor.. Wat style should i go 4? She mai say /\ lor. I thaught.. they cut it as very straight d, I mai say ok lor. Den after more den 1hr sitting down, let her touch touch, n finally over. N i looked.. fucked up. Shit. thier hair cut of /\  is back of my hair very very very short. Like a bomb man. Not match wat i wanted. I luv my hair more den anything, cuz it’s my precious. Now she ruined my life. GOD DAMN HER man! Next time, i wan.. juz trim for me la. I suka u suka? Now, i thaught wan trim my hair short short den put gel joh. Today i wake up, i try very hard to tie my hair. Jus lil man. Stupid ge la those saloon ppl. Now i dunno hv to wait how long 2 get bek my hair long long. Luckily she no trim my tail. If not i chop her hands off! Very the babi ge la. Dunno she today sudah angkat or not. Ah B 2day laugh at me. so sad joh… wan cry cry oso cannot cuz sudah cut. Apa boleh buat? Den John, knoe  how to makan onli. Somemore yest told him dat menjalara rainin, so kenot sit motor. Den he sms me say, so wan car or motor? Gosh! Told him here rainin, he still ask me. He insance joh ma? Den.. he really came wif motor. I say, rainin u still dare ride motor? He say.no rainin o. Ok lor. after trim hair joh, really rain joh. Somemore i very angry cuz my hair looks like shit to me. (Actually, i very very d fear 2 tim my hair) N den.. now d motor basah joh. I say i dunwan sit. Den i walk to the shop 2 eat lor. Den.. john ask me wan eat not, i say dunwan..den he go order himself. N ask me wan eat not, I very d angry joh, i told him faster eat n i wan bek hm. After finnished his meal, he told me rainin now. Gosh. Den he say wan sit ma or wan wait? I mai say…sit sit la. Den i mai sit lor. Damn. Basah joh! Now i knoe y girls dun like sit motor. Somemore he no gip me wear jacket. Huh. Mayb sum of guys is reall useless ge la. Knoe dem long long, den baru knoe their true bg. I very very d letih ge la. Sumetimes pak toh, is juz a name 2 me. 10.09.05 faster cum la!!!!

Yest my nicole demam demam oh.. She sick sick joh. Sick sick until hard to walk joh. Aisks.. Muz pray 2 God joh, let her get well, den she can scratch me n massage for me ne. Miss her scratching ner. I cant hidup without her scratch.. ((i wan cry cry))… But den hor, v eat mamak..den she go n drink ice. So batu. Sick edi stil wan 2 drink. Den teman her c c doc. Alamak! d doc is indian! Not leng chai oso. Somemore got those insects flying so happily. aiyuyu.. This kind of things i dun wan ge lor. The doc dunno ge meh? aisks.. Den.. i ride john john motor. yum yum. he sat behind me, guide me. So song can ride motor….so hapi!!

Wow.. i went to MidValley b4 5pm. Cuz I’m under FanClub and muz reach there by 5pm if possible. Den i’m bored cuz i’m alone. And when 6pm-7pm, i got my polo t n change my clothes. The T i design ge leh! Somemore glow in the dark. So happi.. Den John came lor.. n my fren came oso. I use 1 film. N make one fren over there. He juz sang 3songs. 1 latest song, n 2nd is old song. Even sabah ppl n japan ppl  came. Wen Nic step in the stage. I yell.. yell his name.. until i gotta go sore throat joh. n wen tandatangan, FansClub go in 1st. Ltr, the guard dun let me in cuz my CD got Nic Signature Joh. Si Jia Lat! Den ok.. Fine! I went to john n my fren there. N i dun quite satisfied cuz i cant get to see nic close n shake his hand. U knoe wat i did? I rub of the prev auto, and line up again wif those non-fansclub member. Lastly i got the chance and shake hand wif ting fung saying thank you. Wow!! His smile.. Yum yum.. so sweet i tell u… So leng chai! bTW, He like watching Armagedon. So he sang ‘Dun wanna Miss a Thing’. Yuh.. so lam leh!!. N he oso like watching Mr and Mrs Smith. Yum yum.. Urm.. many many things oso lor.. But cant think much, cuz i baru baru wake up, n somemore i got a horrible nightmare! Oh Gosh…

N 2nd, dedicate to my john john o.. U trim ur hair ka??? So nice ner.. truth de leh. No main tipu ya. U look clean..Next time i take u go c women clothes k.. I choose for u… yum yum…

WAH.. i’m so hapy man! Is oso my 1st time getting ting fung signature, face to face, shake hand wif him, wish him happy burfday. So luckyy… I cant forget this moment, i tell u!. I went to sg wang dat wed 12.08.05. U knoe? I supposed to go seremban dat day. Den b4 i left my working place, i check my mail again, n found out dat nic goin to sg wang TODAY! Gosh. I called up my fan club member. She told me 2molo is seremban nn today is sg wang. I rushed down to there ALONE. At 1st, off work at 5.35 to catch bus. But bus left us. Gosh, i saw the bus moving… my heart broke. Den Nicole fetch us to titiwangsa so i can catch monorail Reach sg wang at 7pm. Crowds ok lor. Still can breath. Nicole stuck in Traffic Jam.. Sorry my luv luv!!! Den nic came. Darn…Cant take his pic. Phone not enuff shootiing! gosh. But luckily, i manage to get in the line. Nic din sign all d fans. N i left d place.

Da next day, my art director let me go off at 5.30. Thx o. Ltr, Nicole fetch me to KTM. Got down on seremban alone AGAIN. Dunno whr the hell ii was. Ask ppl for direction. Train fm segambut to seremban took almost 2 hrs. My ass gonna go cramp! Ask 3 strangers.. One of the gentleman told me to walk. dun take cab. Cab 5 bucks…means far hor.. but den, he tell me walk.. So i mai walk lor.. Chiew!! Near de.. den.. wen reach joh is 8-8.15pm. Start activities liaw. PPl sing song n get prize. Me banana.. So i juz listern. Den ppl shout@@ Ting fung came. Yum yum.. Air liur keluar joh!!! haha. Kd. Cant take pic. Cuz i standing behind, cuz i’m late. But den hor.. i faster went to level 1. Told a guy, cuz d guy blocking my way. Den he gimme take photo lor. Thanks ya! But i stay there onli 1/2 hr. Ned catch bek my ktm. If not, i should stay longer if i got my transport. Duh! Din shake hand nor take another 2nd auto session. Saw my banner i did for d fan club! They gip nic sign. Nic looks soo happy wen see it. I’m happy too.. cuz i did it!! haaaa…

Goin to midvaley early this sat. Dun wanna stand behind. But since i’m fan club.. I’m goin to take my polo t. It’s black de. N they mayb getting a cake for ting fung. I wan see wat’s goin on lor. Muz reach there roun 5pm.

I’m goin to laminate my album joh. Cuz, the signature gonna go off. It’s marker under the cd. so.. i wanna protect it.